Let’s be honest – Valentine’s Day drives everyone nuts. Every year, countless people make grand romantic gestures in the throes of this temporary insanity and wind up falling flat on their faces.
If you think getting rejected in front of all your friends is embarrassing, be thankful you’re not always in the public eye like celebrities are. While we always have the chance to conveniently forget our romantic faux pas the next time February 14 rolls around, the more famous folks among us have to live with each agonizing mistake recorded forever on tabloids, news sites, and artificial Christmas tree company blogs. This Valentine’s Day, we’d like to give you the gift of schadenfreude with this list of famous romantic mistakes:
Having a Spur-of-the-Moment Wedding in Vegas
So you meet someone and you feel like it’s love at first sight. You’re in Vegas and after three rounds of shots, you both decide it’s a good idea to tie the knot. Britney Spears did it with childhood friend Jason Alexander, and Britney had the marriage annulled just hours later. Pam Anderson had her own Vegas wedding after a night of bar hopping – she and short-time hubby Rick Salomon got an annulment two months later. See the trend?
Sure, less-famous people do the same thing every day, but their mistakes aren’t front-page tabloid fodder for the next week. Here’s a tip for you lovebirds out there: alcohol + wedding chapel doesn’t automatically mean romance. Stay clear of this gaffe and avoid the hangover of your life (along with some pretty hefty lawyer’s fees) by not partying too hard in Sin City.
Tattooing Her Name on Parts of Your Body
It’s permanent ink. It hurts. It’s usually in easily-visible parts of the human body. It’s a horrible, horrible mistake if you’re part of a Hollywood romance.
Johnny Depp was once so in love with his Edward Scissorhands costar that he had “Winona Forever” tattooed on his right bicep. Ten years later, he’s had kids with another woman and she’s been in court for shoplifting. The tattoo is still there, but he’s had to have additional work done to change it to “Wino Forever”. Denise Richards got “Winning” star Charlie Sheen’s name tattooed on her ankle. After their divorce, it was reworked into a fairy.
When you’re a big star and want to forget a failed romance, you probably don’t want to have lasers and needles involved. Instead of getting a tattoo of your partner, go for flowers and candy instead. They may not last forever, but your relationship might not, either.
Having an Affair with a Married Person
Husband-stealer, home-wrecker, tramp – there are dozens of words we wouldn’t want associated with us, ever. When you’re in the spotlight and dating someone else’s significant other, however, random strangers on pages all over the Internet get to call you that.
Leanne Rimes and Eddie Cibrian were the focus of an Internet mob when they were caught by their respective spouses cheating with each other. Adopters extraordinaire Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt supposedly started their affair while filming Mr. and Mrs. Smith, despite Brad still being married to Jennifer Aniston at the time. What followed suit was a pop culture war between Team Angelina and Team Jennifer.
Tabloids love it when celebrity couples ruin their marriages, and people just love to eat these stories up. Having illicit affairs with paparazzi following you around will make sure that it all gets discovered and airs on television the next day. So as a helpful reminder from us here at Treetopia, please don’t like it if someone else put a ring on it.
There are countless other stories out there, each more cringe-inducing than the last. This Valentine’s Day, let’s all take some time to be thankful our romantic faux pas aren’t plastered all over magazine covers.
Image by Dewet, accessed via commons.wikimedia.org.